I literally left my dinner on my desk for three seconds and turned around to grab something from my bookshelf. When I turned back around, all of my carrots were missing. My hedgehog just ate all of my carrots in under three seconds. How the hell did he get on my desk in the first place without me noticing?! >:I
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
wow fuck both of you.
COULD THIS BE ANY MORE ACCURATE
THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFULLY ACCURATE THING I’VE EVER LAID MY EYES ON
If anyone ever asks to compose my biography as a writer, I will just refer them to this.
Right now I’m at David Tennant in a spacesuit.
THIS COULD NOT BE ANY MORE ACCURATE OMFG. im at david in the spacesuit eugh.